Tommy Shelton

[mrst53]

As my husband says,'anyone can sue anyone for anything, doesn't mean they will win".

I don't know who asked, about why the Church of God in Dunn Loring was not being sue d for allowing pedophilia. Good question. If it can be proved, maybe they should be. I know it's my home church, but "IF" it occurred, and people closed their eyes then the church needs to be sued and if it takes money to make them wake up and take notice, then SO BE IT.

Again, I say, IF. I do not know Tommy. But I will say this... and I say this in love and honesty... The woman that abused me, was the most loving and the last person on earth that anyone would have thought would be a sexual abuser. All the children loved her. She was a respected camp counselor. She was the wife of a deacon. All the kids wanted attention from her, so did I, only I got the wrong kind. Who was I going to tell? Who would have believed me? I was an outsider in the teenage group. Even tho, I had been born again, I was a youth leader, taught Sunday School,... No one, but no one, would have believed me. I would have been laughed at and austrasized out of the church by the rest of the kids- yeah the kids would have found out. So IF one of the boys had been abused at Dunn Loring, who would have believed him, if he would have told? I know you all believe you KNOW Tommy, BUT NO ONE knows another person, except GOD.

I am not saying Tommy is guilty, as I did at the beginning, I just no longer take anyone at face value any longer. ANYONE CAN HAVE SECRETS.

[proffaberf451]

Alex,

No one is counting anything. The truth simply allows those looking at it to know that your letter is an act of extortion and any civil suit you may attempt to file will last one hearing - a dismissal for failure to show cause or summary judgment. If you want to engage in productive conversation here that is one thing. However, if your ventures here are merely to hurl veiled threats based on hearsay, that isn't going to fly.

- proff

[proffaberf451]

Alex,

I am not referring to the extortion letter - which a safe guess would suggest threatens a law suit if 3ABN doesn't pony up. Therefore the letter won't be thrown out - however, the law suit that would follow, when 3ABN calls your bluff, will be. There is no basis for a suit, thus any complaint filed would be looked at by the court as a nuisance suit, without cause.

proff

[mrst53]

I don't know anything about the statute of limitations in VA. I was just thinking out loud. I just want people to wake up and stop, hiding abuse by pastors, no matter what church.

[Penny]

MRST - you have posted:

I am going to send a copy of the "letter from Tommy" to Brother and Sister Wood. They may not respond, since the chance of trial is still up in the air. I would like to get their side of the story. I will let you know what they say, if anything.

Then

Before I send this letter to the Woods, when was this "letter written"? (Tommy's letter about the Woods)I want as much information as I can have when I write them. this is really important to me. As I said on the other site, after my experience- maybe I can't trust anyone, anymore.

I would suggest that you consider what you wish to accomplish by writing the Woods first. Bombarding them wish a bunch of documents and quotations etc is going to shut them up in no time and not result in you or anyone getting anything close to their side of the story. They are not living with the heads in the sand and are aware of the court case. And nothing like a court case to slam mouths shut and guarantee that you will never get a written reply. Just because someone doesn't tell you what you think you deserve to hear, that can plain old mean that they didn't want to talk to you.

BUT assuming that they are willing to communicate with you (and you need to consider carefully, why should they? If you were in their shoes, would you?) then they perceive or you come across to them that your mind is made up, most (and I assume the Woods are "most") would find it pointless to present anything to change your mind.

Listening may be one of the best ways to garner truth, but most people are so delighted at the sound of their voice, hearing their own thoughts and opinions being rendered or so thoroughly on the path of their agenda, that they don't take time to listen. Even when they are not talking, they often are not listening either...but rather thinking about what they will say next to press home their point.

But if you feel you must communicate with the Woods so that you can go back on the other site and repeat what they have told you, carefully consider what good that would accomplish (for now and in the future).

[Cynthia]

I agree with the above. No one wants to be bombarded with evidence and asked to rebut or confirm it, as it makes them feel like the accused on trial, and they will either get defensive or clam up most times. If you would like to know what happened for your own peace of mind, (and I can understand that) simply tell them you are concerned due to all that you are reading on the internet and ask them to explain how Tommy came to be hired, without saying more about what you think or how you feel, and try and be open minded and just listen if and when they answer. And, then please respect their wishes about whether or not they would like to be quoted to others or want it kept confidential.

Distressingly too many times in this ongoing saga, folks have been asked questions, and then found themselves quoted by 3abn's accusers without permission, or against their expressed wishes. They have been told that the questions were being asked to get to the truth and establish that person's innocence or another's when the opposite was true, and those questioning were only looking for proof of guilt and something to use against them or others. So their open and honest answers got misinterpreted and assigned evil motives and intent, and they had what they said only quoted in part, and taken out of context and made to say the opposite of what they meant and used to accuse them or someone else, and it has caused many of the people being publicly accused and found at fault, as is now happening with the Woods, to stop trying to answer and explain as they like you don't know who to trust.... We here on this forum, in trying to defend 3ABN etc have over and over had to quote all in order to attempt to correct the lies, misrepresentations, misinterpretations and false witness that those on adventtalk committed when given honest answers which they presented dishonestly..

I would never give those people on AT anything from anyone, as to me it is the equivalent of throwing someone to the dogs to have them, and their loved ones, and their words, gnawed and chewed on and tore apart, and the false judgments and misinterpretations are then taken up by others and repeated ad nauseum. I have seen it happen, every single time that has occurred, and it is NOT right. For example Sister who posted to you "If you want to compare what others, including myself, have written about Tommy in the past, read on BSDA. Obviously, those who stated that Tommy had sexual problems with boys and young men appear to be in agreement with Tommy's own profession in a court of law." is referring you to gossip and libel, and where that was done over and over. Neither she or anyone who had something to "say" on that forum witnessed anything about the Tommy situation, they just formed their opinions and judgments based on what others had said, who repeated it from others... Don't waste your time with such, please. Gossip is not how the truth is established, and it is a sin according to the bible.

[mrst53]

Guys,
One of the reasons, I want to send a copy of this "letter or email" to the Woods is that I think they should know that it is out there. They may not even know it's floating out there in cyberspace. On these to sites I hear 2 different sides, each one against the other. I would just like to hear another side to this side, since the Woods are involved in all of this. I trust and respect these people, like you trust and respect Tommy. I need to hear from them even if I have to wait til after the trial.

[proffaberf451]

Mrst53,

And stating publicly what you are going to do, especially at RJP's site, gives him the chance to head you off at the pass by getting to them first. He has already asked questions that sinisterly insinuate wrong doing on their part (the fact that it is insinuated in the form of a question is merely a ruse). He is planting seeds in the event that what you find out doesn't suit his purpose.

But one thing I have wondered about is why there are so many ties between Dunn Loring and Ezra. Why would the Woods call Tommy in the mid 80's?

Yes, the Woods knew about the allegations. Whether they believed the allegations to be true or not, that's another matter. But it is certain that they knew about the allegations at some point in time.

The best course of action for you to pursue, if you want to find truth, is to tell no one what you are doing ahead of time. Share nothing until you are certain of the truth. And know that they don't want you reading anything at this site or having a conversation with anyone posting on this site - it blows their cover.

- proff